


Battle of the Chemistry Puns (Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader)

by mediocrityexpert



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Puns, Chemistry puns, College Setting, F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, bad puns for everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25818121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediocrityexpert/pseuds/mediocrityexpert
Summary: Your assigned lab partner Tetsurou Kuroo loves flustering you with chemistry puns instead of helping you with the experiments. But can you beat him at his own game?
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou & Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 135





	Battle of the Chemistry Puns (Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> The pre-med life and my love for science puns have caused me to write this. And did I seriously look through my experimental procedures for o-chem lab to write this? You bet I did.

“Do you have 11 protons...?”

You sighed resignedly at your lab partner’s question, refusing to meet his mischievous eyes and smug face you desperately wanted to ~~kiss~~ punch.

“Kuroo, not now, you need to get 5 mL of ethyl acetate–”

“Because you’re sodium fine.”

Your goggles fogged up while your red cheeks were brighter than lycopene, but it wasn’t out of embarrassment. Rather, it was from annoyance, or at least that’s what you told yourself...

Because for the past six weeks, your assigned lab partner Tetsurou Kuroo loved flustering you with chemistry puns instead of helping you with the experiments.

And you still had to endure him for another six weeks, when the lab course would end. _Will I even last these next two hours?_ you morosely thought.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to face the tall boy. _I guess the only way to stop him is to beat him at his own game._

  
“Actually, I have 5 protons,” you stated matter-of-factly.

Kuroo’s eyes widened slightly at your response. You _never_ replied to his puns and instead blushed madly, mumbled incoherencies, and ordered him to get some reagent or piece of equipment. His eyebrows furrowed as he remembered which element on the periodic table had five protons.

“You’re boron?”

“Yes, because I find your jokes to be completely boron.”

This time, Kuroo stared at you with a shocked expression and gaping mouth. Did you just retort with a pun? And you called him boring?

Upon seeing his expression, you crossed your arms triumphantly and let out a satisfactory ‘hmph’. L/N: 1. Kuroo: 20.

“Now, can you please get the spotting solvent while I get the fluorene?”

“Only if you use your five protons and stay positive!”

“W-what?!” you sputtered. _How dare he continue his puns!_

L/N: 1. Kuroo: 21.

You stormed off, not wanting to hear his hyena laugh.

“L/N, no running in the lab! A point will be taken off your lab conduct score,” reprimanded your TA, much to your misery.

Kuroo cackled even harder.

“Kuroo, no weird laughing in the lab. A point taken off for you, too!”

L/N: 0. Kuroo: 20.

–

As you approached your partner, you felt a knot in the pit of your stomach

 _A new week, a new me. I won’t let his puns get to me!_ you encouraged yourself.

“Good morning, Kuroo.”

“Yes, it’s morning time, up and atom!”

You nodded at his exclamation and attempted to seem unfazed. “Right...so how about you get the 20 mL of acetone while I get the umbelliferone. This synthesis is going to take forever because we’re heating the reaction under reflux for an hour, so I’d like to finish this as quickly as possible.”

Kuroo frowned. He was expecting more of a challenge after what happened last week. Guess he would have to try harder than usual.

“Sure, we gotta keep an ion on the prize.”

Although you tried remaining calm, your eye twitched and he noticed. You cursed under your breath as his Cheshire Cat grin appeared. _This was going to be a long day._

Yet as you began heating the flask and set the timer to 60 minutes, you were surprised to hear nothing but silence. Kuroo followed your directions like a lawful good partner, his face uncharacteristically sober.

You began to feel guilty. Did you upset him? Sure, your partner could be frustrating. But he wasn’t _that_ bad of a partner...or comedian. If you made a pun, maybe it would dispel this awkward atmosphere that you refused to experience for the next hour or so.

“Kuroo, why are you so...quiet? Does that mean your chemistry jokes argon?”

You instantly regretted your decision, as a certain joyful glint in his eyes reappeared, followed by that irritating smirk. You felt like a tiny mouse finally caught by the persistent cat.

_Oh my god, I fell into his trap._

“No, I only use chemistry puns periodically. Gotta save some for the girls in my bio class because unlike you, they’re not a dead chemist–they love reacting to them!”

It took all of your restraint to not take a beaker and smash it over his silly rooster head. At the same time, it took all your energy to not giggle at his pun.

 _Oh no, I think I actually_ like _his jokes._

Your goggles fogged up again, much to Kuroo’s delight.

L/N: -1. Kuroo: 22.

–

You couldn’t believe it, but today was the day. After 12 arduous, long weeks, you were conducting your last experiment of the semester with Kuroo. But you didn’t feel complete joy and relief from this realization. You hated to admit it, but he had grown on you and was starting to become easier to look at. Yes, Kuroo could be annoying but that didn’t mean he was ugly...

And despite the many moments your blood pressure rose because of the boy, you were somewhat upset that this would be the last time you would be working with him in a while. But only slightly.

Although you weren’t sure if you were going to complete the experiment because your partner was ~~making you laugh~~ infuriating you every single second.

“Aw, L/N, you must be an angry flask because you are completely overreacting.”

“Kuroo, hand me the propanol. And then take all your bad chemistry puns and barium.”

Before he gave you the desired liquid, he wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Wow, are you sure you want propanol? I think you need ammonia because your jokes are pretty basic stuff.”

“Sorry, I guess I can’t zinc of anything.”

“HeHe, I think I slapped my neon that one!”

Both of you erupted into laughter, almost knocking your reaction flask down. The TA, passing by you, frowned. “Kuroo, L/N, please stop with the puns. Or else I’ll make sure you aren’t partners again for the next semester.”

When the TA was out of earshot, Kuroo leaned toward you to whisper in your ear, “Man, he’s too angry and needs to molecule off.”

You hated that your heartbeat quickened due to his proximity. However, you also didn’t want it to stop and you nudged his shoulder. “Yeah, _he’s_ the angry flask, not me. Like, chill bro, it’s called ChemisTRY, not ChemiSUCEED.”

If a previous version of yourself was currently viewing this interaction, they would cringe at the corniness. Yet all you could feel was happiness because your terrible pun allowed you to see Kuroo’s genuine smile.

“Alright, alright, enough puns, L/N. Time to be in our element and finish this experiment.” You really hoped Kuroo ignored your flushed cheeks when he winked at you.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Yes, let’s finish this and let the [mass times acceleration] be with us.”

Before this experiment, you were only slightly upset that this course would be over.

But now, you were wishing to experience it all over again.

–

As you left the chemistry building, relieved to be in normal clothing and breathe in the cool air, you heard your name being called out. Turning around, you couldn’t stop your smile from growing as you saw who approached you.

“Hey, Kuroo, what do you need?”

He stood a few inches away from you, scratching the back of his neck nervously. It was rare to see him so tense and you raised your brow curiously.

“I, uh, forgot to ask you about setting up a time to write our lab report.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “But we always do it on Saturdays. Or you could’ve just texted me.”

Kuroo’s eyes widened. “R-right! Silly me. See you later, then”

Laughing and rolling your eyes, you were ready to say goodbye and head home until Kuroo grabbed your hand.

“W-wait! I forgot to tell you something else!”

Now you were getting impatient and the last thing you wanted to be doing was touching the cheesy chemist you had fallen for these past few weeks. Especially when he didn’t feel the same way. “What, Kuroo?”

“You’re gold.”

Kuroo always left you confused, but you were the most puzzled you’ve ever been. “W-what?”

His grip on your hand tightened as his amber eyes gazed at you intensely. “You’re gold, which is the best element because it’s AU-some. You are the best element.”

He gulped anxiously as you stared back at him, left speechless. _Did he just..?_

The grip on your hand began to loosen as he slowly backed away and released an awkward laugh. He sighed, trying to hide the disappointment on his face from your rejection. “Well, let’s forget that happened, I’ll see you tomorro–”

“NO!”

Kuroo blinked at your assertion and even let out a “Huh?!” as you gripped his hand just as tight as he did with you.

“No! I-I mean, I don’t want to forget. I want to keep an ion you. That must mean you’re a heavy metal, because all I can think about is U.”

Kuroo blinked once again, being reminded of the fact that you never failed to surprise him. He squeezed your hand back as his soft smile matched yours. A sudden wave of confidence swelling inside him.

“Well, do you wanna pretend to be oxygen and potassium and go on a date together?”

How could you say no to this dork? With a giggle and a kiss to his blushing cheek, you happily said, “OK.”

**Author's Note:**

> O is the chemical symbol for oxygen and K is the chemical symbol for potassium so I just had to end it with a pun I’m sorry (but not really). Should I write a part two to this? It was SO HARD to not continue, there are so many science puns in this world. Sorry if any chem knowledge is wrong, it’s been a while lol. May the [mass times acceleration] be with you.
> 
> Also, fun fact: my gen chem lab instructor would actually take points off your conduct score if you whistled or laughed too loud during lab. Ah, what a horrid time.


End file.
